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Dead Shadows (2012 ) More at IMDbPro »

Asylum has a French division?. 13 July 2013

It's as if a writer and director who lacked the talent to work for Asylum, and failed to land a job at the Sci-Fi channel, got together in France to make a film that even learning-impaired fans of the genre couldn't stomach.

But it's certainly not worthless. Many moments cross the line into unintentional comedy. The slapstick sound effects alone were hilarious, making the sound work from The Walking Dead seem ultra-subtle by comparison.

It's a suckfest of epic proportions, and fails in ways that you seldom see. The actions and motivations of the characters are so weird that it goes beyond catastrophic failure into something else. Something un-named. Something vile and unholy. This film is, for what it's worth, not even remotely a typically derivative and formulaic film. This blazes new paths of suckage that are unique. There is no apparent reason behind much of the writing. It's like they threw darts at a poster of actions and emotions for each scene.

A very different flavor of sucking that I've never seen before, and I've seen a lot.

A film this horrible deserves no stars. But for sucking in ways that almost defy explanation, it gets two.

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